Lower School Notes Archive

Monday, February 4, 2013


Back-to-School Nights 2

THIS WEEK!


Grades 2-5: Tuesday, February 5th at 7:00 pm

Preschool-First Grade: Thursday, February 7th at 7:00 p.m.

What Am I to Make of All This Conflicting Parenting Advice?


Alfie Kohn Speaking to parents
For the many Lower School parents who attended last week's PEP event and heard Alfie Kohn, there was a very strong message that there is a spectrum of parental behavior with punishment at one end and at the other praise that he says should be avoided entirely, as they all smack of control, or "doing to" children. Kohn argues that they are all a form of extrinsic motivation that comes from outside the child.  Even praise, earned or unearned, is an attempt to control. He argues that intrinsic motivation, or the motivation that comes from within is what it is essential to foster growth. To do that we have to listen carefully to what children have to say and then provide them with unconditionally parenting, parenting with no controlling conditions placed upon them. Conversations that help children clarify their thoughts are good. Conversations that steer or control are not.
February's all Lower School "value" book
and main calendar focus

This is a powerful message that challenges most of us parents to reflect deeply on the assumptions that underlie our parenting. Kohn was invited to speak to parents precisely because he is a very articulate provocateur.  Just as his views against grading of any kind kicked off our year-long faculty examination of our grading and evaluation procedures and got us all thinking deeply about the benefits and liabilities of what we currently do, he got a lot of the parents in the audience thinking deeply about their own parenting style. Kohn has a great deal to offer us, but I would be hard pressed to imagine how he would do fully implementing his own deeply held beliefs if we were to plunk him down in a full class of normally active first graders.
An example of how to fill another's
bucket from the second-grade calendar

 How does Kohn's beliefs square with other well-respected and popular authors of parenting books? There is a stark contrast to Amy Chua's reflections on parenting, entitled "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." Her approach consists of parental pushing and having the highest possible expectations for children. Clinical psychologist Wendy Mogel,PhD has argued in her latest book, “The Blessing of a B Minus,” that the active engagement of affluent parents can interfere with children’s necessary maturation and strides toward independence. Then there is Paul Tough, who, in his "How Children Succeed," writes about how character is created by encountering and overcoming failure. 

 Many of these parenting messages overlap, but some of them seem to make opposing or at least dissonant arguments. 
With Lower School Music teacher, Mary
Heveran and Head, Dr. De Jarnett,Elena Lopez Nieto, a teacher from a
Spanish school that implements a
"Creating Original Opera" program
with second graders, visited our
school, spoke with our 5th grade opera students and visited
Lower School Spanish classes.

The reality is that there are many different kinds of effective parenting, just like  each school has its own mission and culture, often surprisingly different when one looks beyond some of the most common shared curricular offerings.  Just as we keep encouraging our students to embrace the notion that we are helping them prepare themselves for their own journey and not ours, we encourage our parents to continue to examine their own parenting by reflecting on the ideas of others. Rarely is there a single set of guidelines that can be swallowed whole. The important thing is to thoughtfully assemble your own set of parenting guidelines that fits your personality and your values, as well as the needs of your own individual children.
Preschool 3 students sifting flour
during a Spanish language
 cooking lesson
This year's change in birthday celebrations 
from cupcakes and doughnuts to student 
choices led to one third grader inviting
two others to lunch with the principal.










The following are a few book recommendations that will help to provide a breadth of information, opinions and suggestions on our most difficult but most important task:



While we are on the topic of parenting....

 There was a great recent article in the New York Times on-line Opinionator on building and maintaining the parent/teacher relationship entitled The Dicey Parent-Teacher Duet, written by Sara Mosle. Click here to read.



This year's opera logo.
Check out the new Opera Blog by clicking here.
Hi my name is Nick G. and I’m from the fifth grade opera. Today I’m going to tell you about what the composers have been doing. The composers are Anthony,John ,Jacob Levine,Helen and Kate. I interviewed John and Jacob. John said what they are doing is making a melody for the opening aria from the lyrics that were given to them by the writers. John thinks the main importance of his job is to make the music sound wonderful. John also said that the part he is enjoying most about his job is creating the melody. Now I’m going to tell you what Jacob said.  Jacob told me that before making the melody they clap the rhythm of the words to establish the rhythm for the melody which will go well with the music’s harmony.  Jacob’s favorite part about the opera is making up the melody and then playing the music on some instruments so that the opera is exciting. That is all for today stay tuned for next week when Hannah will be telling us about the set designers.     

There is a new post on the Lower School Mathematics Blog . Click here.



Note the change in the hours of the Book Fair on Monday to accommodate the Lower  School pot luck dinner offered by the fifth grade parents from 5:30 - 7:30 p.m. in the Middle/Upper School Dinning Hall.