More Than a Chore

3rd graders who visited Waterloo
Village practiced some chores that
Native Americans did,
like grinding corn...

Working in boarding schools, I remember many a new student saying something like, “My parents are paying $_____ a year for this school.  I shouldn't have to wash dishes!” Yet by the time they became alumni, most reported that some of their fondest memories were associated with required work experiences.

...and starting fires.

For twelve years I ran the work programs in boarding schools where all students had “work jobs.” Being part of a dish crew, meal-prep team, or squad of toilet or commons cleaners three times a week for an hour-and-a-half of chores was an important part of the total educational experience.

3 year-olds learn that you have to
 work hard...

There is something about doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, trimming bushes, raking the leaves, shoveling snow, or weeding a garden that can provide personal satisfaction. At ten years old, I distinctly remember resenting being asked to cut the lawn and then gradually looking forward to the challenge of doing a thorough job in an increasingly efficient manner. The necessary, often repetitive and menial work that contributes to a family, a school or a larger community makes children feel connected and responsible, especially when these tasks are shared with and appreciated by others.  Lower School students look forward to their assigned classroom responsibilities which include recycling and composting. Kindergartners are not too young to take on such responsibilities. Chores ground children in the reality of what it takes to maintain a community while preparing them for the responsibilities of adulthood.

... to make a D-E scare crow....

Even though it is possible to have the leaves raked by landscapers or the dishes done by domestic help, children should not be deprived of the experience of pitching in and getting done what has to be done. Living in an affluent area such as ours, it is especially important to direct children to think beyond their own needs and focus on meeting the needs of others.

...but it is worth it if it can guard the
the giant pumpkin in front of the school!

Give your children the gift of real responsibility that contributes to the welfare of the family. Expect help with clearing the table, doing dishes, walking the dog, keeping rooms clean and regular yearly maintenance tasks. Helping with chores should simply be part of being a family member and not done for pay. Even though most chores could be done by others, children should never get the message that chores that maintain a home or community are beneath them. Look for opportunities when you can model the value and fulfillment in accomplishing necessary tasks by working together and sharing the sense of accomplishment in cleaning out the garage, repainting a room, figuring out how to fix a broken or leaky toilet, or picking up trash in the neighborhood. My daughter, who is a school psychologist, advised me to make sure parents remember to tell children what a big help their efforts are and to explain why a particular task is so important. Then they, too, may look back fondly to the chores of their childhood.

Learning how to put on your own coat.......using the "flip" is an important step toward independence for a 3 year-old!

Listening to stories as 3 year-olds "read" prepares them for a love affair with books.

Advice on Preparing for Teacher Conferences from the Child Mind Institute.

Before the Conference:

3rd graders on their Waterloo Village trip.

Talk with your child before the conference. Children should understand why the conference is taking place (is it due to a problem or is it a routine meeting held for all parents) and be assured that parents are seeking ways to help and learn about what their children are doing in school. Find out if your child has any specific concerns about school work or relationships with classmates.

Prepare a list of questions you want to ask your child's teacher. Is my child meeting expectations for learning and behavior? How has my child performed on daily class assignments, on tests, on homework assignments? How does my child compare to others in basic skills? Does my child follow school rules or does my child exhibit any behavior problems? If my child is struggling in any area, what has been tried to improve performance? Does my child pay attention in class? What else can be done at home or at school? What are my child's strengths? Are there any concerns about my child's health or adjustment? Are there materials or resources that you would recommend? How does my child get along with other students?

Be ready to collaborate. Generally, teachers will give parents bad news because they want to help the child do better and not to place blame on the parent or child. But sometimes the message does not come across that way, and parents naturally become defensive and protective, maybe even angry. Assume the teacher has your child's best interests in mind and respond calmly and tactfully. Indicate that you are most concerned with solving the problem and helping your child succeed. Offer to meet further to discuss the problem and to work out a solution. Remember that teachers are often as afraid to deliver bad news as parents are to hear it.

During the Conference:

Listen carefully. It is perfectly acceptable to take notes. This is particularly helpful if one parent or other involved relative cannot attend. It can also help you remember details so that you can ask questions later.

Offer your perspective. Many times teachers will ask you about your child's activities at home and your views of your child's strengths and areas where help might be needed. Even if the teacher does not ask, speak up and provide your observations and any concerns.

You want to hear good news about your child. If the teacher does not offer any positive comments, ask directly, "What does my child do well?" And remember that teachers often hear only negative comments, too. Be sure to try to offer a compliment, a thank you to let the teacher know you appreciate what they are trying to do to help your child-even when what the teacher is trying to do may not be working.

Do not be afraid to ask questions. If you do not understand something or feel your concerns are not being addressed, then ask the teacher. Teachers and other educators easily slip into jargon and forget that many parents are not familiar with the terms they use every day. Stop and ask for an explanation of unfamiliar terms or programs. Not understanding can quickly lead to misunderstanding.

To facilitate an efficient pick-up, PLEASE display the visor cards. If you need another, contact Mrs. Rullo.

Returning This Fall 2013: Technology Products Recycling Program!

Drop-Off your Items Next Week: Oct. 21, 22, & 23, 7:30 a.m - 9 a.m.  10/15/2013 Do you have a lot of old electronics you want to dispose of?  Do you wonder how to discard of your old technology products in a safe way that is not harmful to the environment? Dwight-Englewood School, in conjunction with Urban Renewal Corp., is once again presenting a Technology Recycling Program for all students, parents, faculty and staff. Next week, beginning Monday, Oct. 21, through Wednesday, Oct. 23, you will have the opportunity to bring in your technology products for a “green” way to dispose of them.