Lower School Notes

At the Lower School Skate Day

Teaching Empathy is in Our Best Interest!

As the advances of medical science continue, the average lifespan of adults in the US has climbed by almost 30 years just in my own lifetime. This means that we have to ready our own children, some of them barely out of diapers themselves, to eventually help us with ours.

Developing empathy often starts with building
relationships with animals!

The time has already arrived when middle-aged adults have to care for their own children and their parents simultaneously. How we model for our own children our care for our parents will determine their future attitudes toward us when we hang around into our 80’s, 90’s even 100’s. With most couples waiting until their 30’s before having children, at age 55 it is likely that their children will be approaching college as their own parents are reaching their 80’s. Whew! That is a lot of responsibility all at once.

A number of years ago, my brother, sister and I were finally able to convince my then 93 year-old mother to have open heart surgery to replace a rapidly calcifying valve. This was her fourth time in the hospital in a short time, and she was barely able to do anything without getting dizzy and risking another fall. Otherwise sound in mind and body, the question is why not have the operation, especially in light of the surgeon's statement that without the new valve, she would probably never be able to leave the hospital? After her operation the Doctor was only half kidding when he said he wanted to be invited to her hundredth birthday party (She is now 98). Even with the operation, she needs a great deal our help and surely will through the rest of her life. My wife, Melissa’s, father lived into his 90's in excellent health, but with advancing Alzheimer’s. Her mother had open heart surgery two weeks before breaking her pelvis in a fall. Melissa and her six siblings worked together determining the best way to support their father and their mother. These are common stories these days.

Skate Day was a family event!

For many reasons, including our need to be supported well by our children during our golden years, we have to prepare our children, now, to be caring, supportive and family-oriented adults.

We must never loose sight of the importance of attending to our children's social and emotional growth. We need to help them to be sensitive to the needs of other individuals, those who are older or younger and those to whom they are not even related. In short we need to help them to become emphatic. Although we want them to have strong self-esteem, it should not just be rooted in what they have been able to accomplish just for themselves. They need to be able to understand that, not only is it alright for their needs not to always come first, but once one gets used to helping others, it is usually very rewarding.

5th graders at the MS Pep rally

Placing importance on family events, births, deaths, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations and the like gives the message that families are the primary unit of support for individuals, and that the support is felt most strongly by those who give of themselves the most. Children of any age should be guided to develop meaningful relationships with cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, even great grandparents (which will be what mother becomes, when our first grandchild arrives in July).

More Pep ralliers

It is also important to help our children to feel a responsibility for helping others beyond their families. Volunteering in a nursing home, hospital, soup kitchen or homeless shelter helps them to put their own needs in perspective. As children develop their own interests, we should always raise the question about how they might take the time to share them with others.

Oh, and by the way, everything we do to make them better care takers for us in our old age, will make them better parents for their own children.

Our future Depends on it! (We make lots of "depends" jokes with our kids to remind them that, just as we spent lots of times changing their diapers.........)

Hi my name is Nick G. and I am going to tell you about the electricians in the fifth grade opera. They are: Nick.A, Richard, Andrew, Ryan, Donald and Andrei. I interviewed Ryan and Donald. They said that they have been cutting cans and painting them black for the footlights,and then putting electrical tape around these cans. Ryan said that the electricians’ responsibility is to set the mood of the opera with the color of the lighting projected onto the stage. The part that Ryan is enjoying the most is actually making the footlights. He is also really looking forward to getting into the lighting booth. Donald said that the lighting that they add will really make the opera look great! Donald said that he is enjoying everything about being an electrician. He is looking forward to seeing how the opera will turn out with all the lights. Stay tuned for next week when Blake will be telling us about the performers.

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