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| 56 2nd-5th grade participants in after-school Math Teams received their certificates and awards at last week's assembly! |
Each year in the Lower School, we have a small assembly on Mr. Rocky’s Field to celebrate the end of another year and, in particular, the fifth-graders transition from the Lower School to the Middle School. Fifth-grade students plant a tree to commemorate their journey and release butterflies to symbolize their “flight” to a new home. This ritual is so important as students naturally experience mixed emotions about leaving the safety of the Lower School, and it helps them acknowledge their experiences and emotions in a calm, joyful way while preparing them to embrace new ones.
(At this time of graduations, moving-up ceremonies and moving on, I want to share in the final Lower School Notes blog of the year something I wrote upon the occasion of our younger son's college graduation four years ago.)
Commencement Reflections
Our second son’s recent college commencement provided an
opportunity to look back on his journey from child to boy to man and to reflect
on the role we played in the process. Often it is small yet significant
memories that serve as powerful signposts.
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1st-5th grade legacy students
at Dr. De Jarnett's home
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Four months ago, he gave me a tip on a new razor, and it turned out to be the best advice I have had during the 40 years I have grudgingly scraped my face. That may not sound like much, but it was only a few years ago that I gave him his first shaving lesson. The shift in roles was both jarring and oddly satisfying. When he was 11, we began what turned out to be a seven-year auto restoration project. At the beginning he had difficulty focusing on and taking ownership of the project he had begged to start. By the end he no longer wanted my help or advice, sometimes stubbornly refusing it, even when it could have been very useful. Although at first it was hard for me to acknowledge, now I am proud to say that he is both a better mechanic and a far better welder than I.
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Lower School legacy students meet
the De Jarnetts' new puppy
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When he started kindergarten, he had great difficulty
separating from his mother and refused to go to a birthday party unless one of
us stayed. This is the same kid who, at 17, told us repeatedly that he hated us
both and wished he had not been born into our family. Yet, last weekend it was very
important for him to introduce us to his friends and co-workers.
We are deeply proud of this young man who is still our son
but with whom we are now forging a new adult relationship. It is fascinating to
recognize in him a mixture of our own values, interests and mannerisms as well
as aspects that have come from others and those that he has developed on his
own.
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| At a pastry shop on the Lower East Side during the 3rd grade Tenement Museum trip |
We already have had two other college commencements and will have another next year. Some of the elements are the same, but for each child it has been a very different journey. Different personalities, interests and special needs require different parental responses. There are no universal solutions or one-size-fits-all answers. There is no way around it: this whole parent thing is very messy. For some children the need to be independent by pushing parents away comes earlier and, for others, later. From a parent’s perspective, the “pushing away” always hurts and requires a conscious effort on our part to keep what is happening in the perspective that it is our job to help our children build their own lives.
As our children move through their own journeys, we must
recognize and respond to both their developmental and their individual needs.
As parents, we change too and must take the time to reflect on how our
relationship with our toddler changes when he or she becomes a preschooler as
much as when he or she changes from a teen to a young adult. Both my wife and I
anxiously await the time when our adult children become parents themselves, and
we will need to reevaluate our roles as we add grandparent to the job
description. If I am lucky, I may live long enough to get shaving tips from
another generation.
(afterword: Although he has had another graduation, gotten married and bought a fixer-upper home since 2008, we still are waiting patiently to begin our grandparently duties.)
Lorraine Yamin will be our new preschool 4 teacher. Lorraine has both a Masters of Science in Early Childhood Special Education from Bank Street College of Education and a Masters of Social Work form Hunter College. She has been working in early childhood education for more than 17 years, most recently as the learning specialist at the Saul and Carol Zabar Nursery School. She brings with her not only a wealth of experience but also an exciting collaborative energy.
The 3rd grade is excited to announce that we have already raised $1,232 from the used book sale! The books will continue to be on sale this week ... for $1 each. Next week 3rd graders will vote on the children's related charity that we will be donating the money to. Thanks for your support.
Lorraine Yamin will be our new preschool 4 teacher. Lorraine has both a Masters of Science in Early Childhood Special Education from Bank Street College of Education and a Masters of Social Work form Hunter College. She has been working in early childhood education for more than 17 years, most recently as the learning specialist at the Saul and Carol Zabar Nursery School. She brings with her not only a wealth of experience but also an exciting collaborative energy.
This a great deal from Barnes & Noble.
The Third Grade Used Book Sale is a Success!
The 3rd grade is excited to announce that we have already raised $1,232 from the used book sale! The books will continue to be on sale this week ... for $1 each. Next week 3rd graders will vote on the children's related charity that we will be donating the money to. Thanks for your support.
HAVE A WONDERFUL SUMMER!
