Sustainability

You might guess that I am going to write about “green” topics, but actually I want to explore ways that we all can help our students and our children to develop good old-fashioned stick-to-itiveness, just another way of saying sustainability.

First I want to share a story that some parents may have heard about Dr. De Jarnett’s experience as a soccer coach at St. Paul’s School. He had the great good fortune to coach some of the most talented soccer players in the United States. They had skills that would make varsity soccer players at most schools feel like rank beginners. Yet his overwhelming and lasting impression of these young stars was that they were burned out. Their talents had propelled them into a realm of adult driven competition, one in which performance expectations overwhelmed the joy of just playing the game.

Building complex block structures requires
  stick-to-itiveness   

I know firsthand as a parent that we all want desperately for our children to be happy. What derails many of us is the notion that happiness only comes from success, even if it has to be engineered by us or other adults. Of course it would be hard to develop good self-esteem without some number of successful experiences, and yes, much of our job as parents and as teachers is to help our children and students to experience success. However, it is struggle in the face of difficulty, even failure that builds real self-esteem. Unconditional love from parents is essential, but a guarantee of unconditional success is not. Just as unearned praise confuses children, so do successes that are assured by intervention from adults.

If we take off our rose colored glasses to take an honest look at the experiences that most shaped our own lives, I suspect that it is the times that we have not been immediately successful that have been most formative and ultimately rewarding. Experiences that require us to persevere, dig deep and draw on our stick-to-itiveness to accomplish the goals important to us are what shape our positive sense of ourselves.

A keyword in the last sentence is “us”, meaning that the goal that drove these formative experiences came from within us and not from our teachers or our parents. Supporting a child’s goals is different from choosing them.  It is always the journey that is more rewarding than any goal at the end. It is the uncertainty of the outcome that motivates us and our children too!

From rust bucket to 50 year-old show car
 (7 years of work!)

I remember at first being puzzled about the psychological ease with which my son sold his finished show car before college after his seven year restoration project. Then it became clear to me that he had finished the interesting part of this journey, and he was ready to move on to another challenge. It was overcoming the numerous setbacks, seeming dead ends and waits to earn enough cash for the next phase that he valued and helped him to develop the stick-to-itiveness that I now recognize as so much a part of his personality.

So in the end, to promote “sustainability” in our own children, unconditional love should come with just enough support to help them power through the rough spots along their own journeys, the ones that are driven by their interests and not by ours. 

Lower School Update

After 28 years as a teacher and Lower School librarian, Carla Healy is retiring. After five years teaching in public school, followed by two years in a nursery school, she has spent 21 years at the Bede School and Dwight-Englewood. For 16 of those years she taught third grade, and for the last five she has been librarian and first- and second-grade assistant. Hundreds of students have been enriched by her care and dedication as a teacher. We will all miss her.


Taking her place as librarian and part-time assistant in first or second grade will be current fourth-grade teacher, Sheila Sienicki. Mrs. Sienicki has been a teacher at the Bede School and then Dwight-Englewood for 22 years, the first 10 as a second-grade teacher, followed by 12 years in the fourth grade. Current fourth-grade teacher, Ronda Sowa, will take over for Mrs. Sienicki.


Also, due to a full current second grade and a large number of strong applicants, we will add a third classroom of third graders next year. The process of hiring for that position has just begun.

Exciting New D-E Summer Violin Program

 (June 25- July 13) for ages 5-11
 No experience required. 
Click here for more information.

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Fifth Grade Opera Update

My name is Emma, and I am a PR officer for the fifth grade opera. I'm going to tell about what the performers have been doing. The performers have been practicing acting scenes and expressing their characters.  Also the performers have been practicing singing the opening aria with the composers. They are Eller, Jason, Myriam, Ashley, Matthew, Bennett, Marcus and Sara. They are very excited because they recently got assigned  their parts for the opera.  Each character has their own particular personality. I interviewed a few performers, and this is what they had to say: Sara said, "I love to improvise!" I also asked Ashley what her favorite part was and she said, "My favorite part is when I get to be creative and when people get to see me act." They are doing a fantastic job and everybody just can't wait to see the final performance! Stay tuned for next week when Kyle will write about the Stage Manager.